Everywhere but Here
On battling half-conscious in a world designed to keep us that way
I went on a backpacking trip in California recently. On paper and in photos, it was incredible. But I was not fully present for any of it.
My partner was struggling and needed me. I was split trying to be there for him over phone calls while also showing up for the trip, for the people I was with, and for the experience itself. I wanted to do both. And in trying to do it all, I lost myself completely. I came back exhausted, disconnected, overwhelmed by the feeling of existing in two places at once.
I knew I’d had a good time. But it didn’t feel like mine. I forgot to slow down. I forgot to take care of myself. I forgot to be conscious of my own emotions, my own energy, my own well-being.
I created the name Data Conscious Collective last fall. But it was only after this trip that I had a true reckoning with what consciousness actually means in my life and in the technology I move through every day. I turned inward and started reading about consciousness, the law of attraction, and human design to better understand myself.
I used to love to escape.
For as long as I can remember, I loved to escape. As a child, I’d escape into books, staying up all night reading. In college, my friends literally would call me a runner because I ran away from boys, when I drank, and honestly, throughout the day. I’d move from one activity to the next, never really pausing at any point. I loved the hustle in the escape, the constant adrenaline rush of doing so much in a given amount of time.
But with that comes also constant anxiety, and this need to “turn off my brain.” So instead of being present, I’d doom scroll, send a text, and do anything on my phone or laptop that kept me feeling connected but didn’t feel good. What I realized on that trail is what happens to us every day. We are everywhere except here. We are half-conscious, constantly getting pulled from the now into some other reality with a notification, a ring, a click, a swipe, a constant pull to be somewhere else.
We live in an escapist world fueled by tech.
When I built my vision for Data Conscious Collective, I wanted people to be conscious of their small and large habits around tech and how it affects them, positively or negatively. It is so easy to distract and escape from our lives with technology. Every notification on the phone, every device, social media, and AI are all tools that take us from the present and into some other world - whether it’s someone else’s world, someone else’s technology, someone else’s news. It is so easy for us to be consumed because it’s designed to consume us.
These platforms and devices are designed for convenience and to provide us a frictionless experience. Every swipe is smoother. Every notification is timed. Every interface is built to reduce the moment between impulse and action because that moment of pause is where our conscious decision-making lives.
When I actually pause and think about how a reel on Instagram makes me feel without just scrolling to the next one, it is uncomfortable. Sometimes the reel makes me feel positive, light, and empowered. Most times, it makes me anxious, numb, and disconnected from my body. When I pause and question why a company might need my email address and the annoying result of getting a bazillion unnecessary emails from them in return for a 10% discount, I don’t choose the discount.
That one beat of awareness before the automatic behavior is data consciousness.
It’s about knowing how these systems are working on you, right now, and deciding what actually feels good. Sometimes it is opting in to the tech. Sometimes it’s not. But the choice gets to be your conscious decision, rather than something compulsive, automatic, or required.
I’m not saying this is easy. I still catch myself mid-doomscroll, still feel the pull to hand over my data for the smallest convenience. But it’s a muscle. And the more I practice it, the faster I notice. The faster I can choose differently.
It shifts us from a person sleepwalking through a world built to capture our attention to someone who moves through it with eyes open, making deliberate choices about where your time, your data, your money, and your energy actually go.
Here are questions I’ve started to ask myself throughout the day to feel more conscious:
How is my body feeling at this moment? It is startling how often I find myself disconnected from my body. It can be when I’m looking at my phone, when I’m on my 5th zoom call of the day, or when I’m running on auto-pilot, I realize that I’ve abandoned myself. Asking myself this question forces me to confront my needs.
What am I escaping from? I notice how easy it is to reach for my phone or my laptop when I struggle to be in the present moment. I’m escaping procrastination, anxiety, discomfort, distraction and boredom. Sometimes I am even escaping joy, because I’ve built the habit of escape so deeply. But when I do ask myself the question, it brings me back to the present and allows me to live in a way that feels good.
What do I need to feel good? More technology is not the answer. Walking, journaling, listening to music and connecting with friends make me feel so much better than any technology distraction. I’ve even been surprised by what has come up; cooking has been a new source of joy that I didn’t realize.
I call my company (and now my Substack) Data Conscious Collective because consciousness is no longer just a spiritual concept; it’s a radical act in a world designed to keep us distracted. What we all crave, probably more than ever, is a feeling of self. A feeling of being good in our own bodies and minds. Technology has gotten so convoluted that it has pulled us out of ourselves and into digital worlds of mind-numbing escape. But our relationship with technology doesn’t have to be this way. Being conscious of our bodies, our needs, our data, and our attention is how we take back agency in this data-driven world and build a life with technology that actually feels like ours.
If any of this resonated with you and you’d like to learn more about how to be data conscious, consider checking out my workshops and services at dataconsciousco.com!Would love to see you at an event soon.